New Beginnings for Moms

“Behold I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

This is a season of firsts. My baby Canaan started kindergarten. Jordan started 1st grade, but desperately misses her beloved kindergarten teacher who retired. Caleb is a 5th grader and at school for the first time without Chase. Chase is now in 6th grade at the middle school. Taylor is 16 and is a licensed driver. As we’ve prepared for all of these firsts, I’ve noticed that with firsts come both excitement and apprehension. We both like and fear the new. While I’m excited about the new seasons my children are experiencing, there is also that feeling of the unknown. I’m glad that Taylor can drive, but should I let her drive alone? She reminded me the other day that the only way that I would know that she could drive alone was to allow her to drive alone. Deep sigh…She’s right and I know it.

For the first time in 10 years, all my kids are in school. That’s a new thing for me and I’m excited yet a little unsure of what the new will bring. I know I’m not the only one because I’ve watched my Facebook friends share their mixed emotions about the changes that come when the baby goes to school. The truth is we can’t stop change. We can’t hold our children in limbo while we get ready. We have to embrace the new and learn from it. They aren’t just changing…we are changing too!

When you’ve defined yourself as a stay at home mom, what do you do now that all the kids are gone? There can be a sense of loss because time that use to be filled with Nick Jr. is now open to really do whatever you desire. The problem is often, you don’t know what you desire. I realized this last year when Canaan went to preschool so I started working on what I wanted to do next. I’ll admit it wasn’t easy. I'll still learning to create a world that balances my desire to be a great mom with my desire to do something that matters with the rest of my day. When you’ve spent years just being wherever your kids needed you to be, it can be a challenge to figure out what to do when they don’t need you from 8-3.

A Facebook mom posted the other day “Who am I if I’m not a mom?” Great question! This is a great place to start the discussion and begin the journey of developing the rest of you.

Questions to consider:

What do I like to do?

What have I always wanted to do, but couldn’t because I was raising small children?


What would I like to learn to do? What would be an ideal day for me?


What am I passionate about? What cause am I connected to?

Is this a time to go back to school, start a new job or business, get in shape, pick up an old passion or a new hobby? Well, it could be…if you decide it is. You have options.

You are a mom, but being a mom isn’t your only gift. God equipped you with gifts and talents that the world needs. Now is a great time to learn about you. I know that there is a tendency to feel that after you’ve spent years raising kids that you don’t have much to offer the world, but the truth is being a mom has taught you skills that make you more effective to the world. You just need to identify what you know and how you can use it to make a difference.

Father, please help all moms who struggling to find their place as their children transition into new seasons. Help them to see that You care about their dreams as well. Stir up dreams, passions and ideas that will make our world a better place. Help them to know what they should do next. Help them transition effectively in this new season. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

I Choose

I refuse to be defined

Confined by labels

Society tries to stick on me

Carving out limitations

Based on gender, race, or nationality

I am not restricted to merely repeat

That which has already been achieved

Endless potential within my soul

Maybe a cure to cancer or HIV

God wrote out my purpose

From beginning to end

By my choices I decide

If I lose or if I win

SO I choose victory

Living life giving God glory

Taking my place in history

Touching society in a way

That is uniquely me

Unwilling to become

A cheap carbon copy

Embracing the Designer’s plan

A vision of originality

Life may attempt

To place me in a category

But only I have the ability

To determine what I become

I chose CHAMPION!

 

Imagine what could happen if we all choose to live out of our potential than our limitations? What if we taught our kids to live the same way? I think we could make an impact in the world, a mark that can't be erased. I don't know what you were created to do, but I do know that your gifts matter to the world or God wouldn't haven't put it inside of you! I'd love for you to share your dream below. Tell me what you're working on so I can pray for you! Have a great day!

Live the Life You Were Created to Live

I'm always thinking about thinking ... mainly because I understand that my thinking controls every area of my life. I know from past experiences that trying to change areas of my life without changing my thinking only produces a temporary change. Before long I revert back to my previous behavior. Why is this? Because for the most part our thinking is set on auto pilot. We just cruise along at the same altitude until we hit a little turbulence that causes us to adjust, but just like the auto pilot, once we have navigated the storm we return to our programed altitude. Often our desire to change comes from a crisis. For example, we when we get our paycheck and it's not enough to pay our bills, we talk about getting another job and promise to do something different, but once we pass through the storm we settle back into auto pilot. We do the same with our health, our relationships and dreams.

We know we want more, we know God has created us for more, but yet we stay in the comfort of auto pilot. Why? Because even though we want change, we haven't done the work to produce change where it matters most...in our thinking. As a result, we continue to repeat the same cycle expecting a different outcome, even though we know it's insanity. We offer up so many excuses as to why we don't change, but in reality all those excuses cover up the real thing holding us back ... fear!

"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (Nelson Mandela receives the credit for saying this, but he was actually quoting Mariam Williamson. In the end it doesn't really matter who said it first, it's true.)

Fear causes us to accept just existing rather than living which is so far beneath the abundant life God created for us. Fear causes us to refuse to allow the God given dreams in us to become the reality we live! Fear causes us to be more comfortable with things that we should never tolerate. Fear controls our thinkink causing us to place and accept limitations as normal living. We get so focused on how hard it is to return to school that we can't even envision oursleves with the degree in hand. Our fear keeps us from seeing that millions of others have overcome the same issue...not because they are favored or more blessed, but because they eradicated the fear by dealing with their thinking. They disproved the lies established by fear by taking consistent counter actions to their fears.


If others have overcome fear to achieve their goals, then I can...you can. But the first step is deal with our thinking. Here are four things we must do to change our thinking so that we can live abundantly

1) Locate ourselves - How do we think? Spend time thinking about our thinking. Why did I respond that way? Am I limiting myself? Why do I procastinate?

2) Make a Commit to Change - We must make a quality decision that enough is enough and that we are willing to do the work necessary to produce the change we desire.


3) Surround ourselves with successful others - Our environment is always working on us so the best thing we can do is surround ourselves with others who are also committed to living abundantly


4) Develop successful systems - We need plans to make our dreams come true. Nothing just happens. If the goal is weight loss, then let's plan our meals and schedule our workout time...it won't happen if we don't. If we're going to start a business, carve out time to work on the business plan and teach others in your life to respect that time. If the goal is to grow spiritually, then make bible reading and church attendance a priority and don't read your bible when you're sleepy...you know you are going to fall asleep.


5) Do all you can and trust God to do what you can't. God wants you to succeed way more than you do. He's given you everything you need to be successful, however, He needs you to do your part. When you have done the natural...you can expect the supernatural.


Each of us is here on purpose for a purpose. Our lives are more than being consumed with uninspiring activities and reality tv. Let's be the best we can be, make a difference in our lives, those we love and the world!

The CBA's of Success

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to succeed at everything they attempt while others muddle through life working hard, but never making much progress? You may have decided successful people are simply lucky and there's not much that can be done to improve your luck. If you ever take the time to study the lives of successful people you will quickly discover luck had nothing to do with it, but that they intentionally created the life they wanted. Would you like to know their secrets?

C - Clarity - If you are going to have a successful anything you have to get clear and concise on what you want. What does a good relationship look like for you? If you talk to different people, you'll hear different answers so it's important to define what that means for you. Think about it this way...if you and your spouse went to get your dream car, would it be the same car? It's highly likely that it's not. You want a BMW while he wants a Mercedes. In that case something as simple as a new car purchase is enough to bring major stress into the relationship because there was never clarity of vision. So get clear about what you want your spiritual walk to look like, your relationships, your profession, even your recreation. Without clarity, how will you know if you achieved the goal?

B - Believe - In order to create a different life, you must believe it's possible. All the best dreams in the world mean nothing, if you doubt it's possible. I can't tell you the number of times a couple asked Edwin and I to counsel them through marital challenges, and they started the session with "I don't think it can get better." Then what's the point in getting counseling, if you don't believe the relationship can change? If you think it can't, it won't because subconsciously you'll find a way to make what you believe be your reality. How many times have your shortchanged yourself by allowing your doubt to stop you before you start? Remember the words of Jesus - "All things are possible, if you can believe."

A - Action - Now that you're clear about what you what and you believe it's possible. You have to act. This seems to be the hardest step for most people, but faith without works is dead...meaning it produces nothing. So what can you do right now that will help you accomplish your dream? Start with writing it down, that will help you with clarity and even believing. Did you know that you improve your chances of accomplishing a dream by 50% when you write it down? What other action steps can you take? If it's going back to school, get online and see your program options, costs, length of time needed to complete...DO SOMETHING!

If you make it a point to get clear, believe it's possible and act in concert with your dreams, you'll soon discover for yourself that it's not luck that makes people successful, but intentional preparation!

PS....if you haven't purchased my new book "Our Amazing Marriage" check it out at http://www.ouramazingmarriage.com/. It's a great tool for anyone desiring to increase the quality of their marriage!